Great Person, Bad Sex. Is It a Deal-Breaker?

You've heard the saying: "Sex is like pizza—even when it's bad, it's good." But is it really? According to our unofficial poll, some men and women are willing to be in a relationship if the sex is a little "meh," but most say no way.

Here's how 10 men and 10 women answered when asked: "Is bad sex a dealbreaker?"

Responses From Women
"Yes. I was dating the best, most caring, nice, and romantic guy in the world. But when we had sex for the first time, I couldn't even feel him inside me. I knew there was no chance after that." —Elizabeth, 32

"Not at all. If a guy is a bad boyfriend, you can't turn him into a good one—and you shouldn't even try. But you can totally improve a subpar performer in bed." —Kristyn, 32

"Definitely. I want a guy who can really excite me and surprise me in the bedroom. If he can't take charge and own it, then I'll lose interest." —Lauren, 31

"No. There are more important things than sex. I don't care if a guy can't make me orgasm if he can make me dinner, listen to a recap of my day, and treat me well. It's not like I don't know how to get myself off later." —Tamara, 28

"Yes. I once dated a guy who was so unsure of himself in the bedroom, he was always asking if I liked what he was doing or if I was OK. I ran out of ways to politely say, 'Maybe don't ram yourself [into me] quite so hard.'" —Shannon, 32

"Yes. Even average sex is a deal-breaker. It has to be great." —Kira, 27

"No. Relationships are about supporting and challenging each other. If he's there for me in the ways that matter, we can work around less-than-hot sex." —Tanya, 32

"My boyfriend basically never wants to have sex. My libido is definitely higher than his. When we do have sex, it's pretty meh, but it works enough that I'm OK in the relationship." —Adele, 33

"If the sex is bad the first few times, it's not going to get better. You can't teach someone to screw you hotter. That's just not how it works. Get out while you can." —Nat, 30

"Yes. Sex is an integral part of a romantic relationship. I have enough platonic friends. Last night, my boyfriend helped me with a work problem and gave me a mind-blowing orgasm before dinner was ready. A night like that always makes us feel closer." —Serena, 32

Responses From Men
"I want the total package in a woman. That includes looks, personality, and how she is in the bedroom." —Adam, 35

"If a girl really is [great for you], you'll be able to communicate clearly and confidently enough to turn terrible sex into great sex." —David, 34

"No. I used to date this girl who basically had no experience and she was just terrible—especially when blow jobs were involved. But she knew it and wanted to get better, so she was open to a lot. And that started a discussion of how I could be better for her too." —Eric, 29

"For sure. Bad sex—no matter how hot the woman or good your connection—can put out any spark that was there before. It's sad but true." —Khalil, 30

"Yes. I went out with girl who was bad in bed, and after that, I couldn't stop thinking about how awkward it was. She was faking all these weird noises, and it just didn't feel real. I didn't want a second round of that." —Joaquin, 32

"I don't think it's a big deal. If you thought she was bad, she might be thinking the same thing about you! If the connection is there, it's worth trying to work out any physical stuff together." —Ethan, 29

"Definitely. Looks and chemistry may fade, but as long as the sex is good, there will always be that one crucial part to an intimate relationship." —James, 35

"Sadly, it is. I was so into this girl from work. I thought everything she did was just the sexiest. She made photocopying look good! We hooked up and it was the worst. Just horrible. The office got a lot more awkward after that." —Steven, 30

"No. I've been with my girlfriend for six years and the sex was hot when we first got together—like three times a night at first. Now it's can be kind of dull and, some weeks, nonexistent. But I realize that stuff fades and I love her." —Josh, 34